2011

going back a few years in this:


Entering Twenty-eleven
1-1-11

Learning to accept my imperfections
Is one of my twenty-eleven new years resolutions
In this particular book my odes are more lengthy
Due to more lines on the page
Where I allow my songbird to stand on the top of his cage
Seeking out peace of mind
Yet seeing the necessity of a war within
That makes it real
Needing both the warrior and the parasite
In the way we feel
As sometimes we give it all away
To make up for when we curse and steal
Learning to accept my coffee
Even when she is lukewarm
Giving it a feminine pronoun
As a shelter in an approaching snowstorm
Learning to live one day at a time in this.....




Acceptance Speech
1-1-11

One of my new years resolutions
Is to admit that sometimes I indeed stink
And I do so even more when I stop and think
As Satan says things like
"You're wasting away to nothing"
And that you'll never measure up
So I learn to live with it
And open my east window
To listen to them argue
And let them battle it out
Terrified to return to the work world
More than ever
Trusting in the good Lord and handing it all over
I have all afternoon and evening to gripe
And admit that I am the stinking type
But so flaming what....




New Year's First Voices
1-1-11

Voices in my mind say
You're going to end up in the flipping mental ward
Getting in touch with my psyche quite psycho
The other voice says that indeed I am free
Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll lose it all
I've been out of work for almost half a year
And all I seem to know in this moment is fear
How am I going to deal with it
I don't even know what it's going to be
Therefore it is nothing
Mixing up the words plaque and plague
Another way for the enemy to be pulling my leg
Already given the victory
Even when it doesn't seem like it right now