uncertain

Uncertain
6-9-10


Dear Jesus
What will it take to make it
I must ask
And I would receive no answer
Yet the only word that rhymes
I can think of is cancer
A zodiac sign contrary to mine
As all that matters are these words
We cross our fingers but for what
As I go normal but still I am a nut
There might be a thousand things to worry about
Yet it is written we are to take no thought
And it is also written
That the Spirit is restored by doubt
Two different ball fields
All is folly and vanity
Dear Jesus, help me to maintain my sanity
Which is insanity all over again
But I still must try...








The Big Question Mark
6-9-10


Lions, tigers and bears, O my
Epinephrin levels are high
I live in denial as if nothing were wrong
Go on along or go alone
I have no way or manner of playing it safe
When the muscle of my soul is chafe
My goal used to be to get some
But now I'm just trying to survive
Tell me I need to get a life
Yet upon which denial I thrive
Appearing to be illiterate
On my job application
But this is not the real me
O, I must ask, "What is?"










Nuts In Store
6-9-10


Borderline paranoid
with no place to return
There, I said it
Yet in life I can still learn
I have a need to laugh or cry
When all of these drugs still make me high
It seems I remember everything
When I can't remember yesterday
Every poet is a thief
But I see no other better way
I'm still here
As I suppose that God has a reason
Which makes me think even more
In times when I am out of season
Still I wear headphones
To tune out every other sound
As my brain feels like a potato round...










Reasons To Smile
6-9-10


My conscience tells me to fail
Not a very good start
This is becoming as skinny as a rail
Is this a part of a building or a bird
In places where I can only say it's absurd
Engulfed and inundated
To the point where I don't care if I'm hated
But I still have thirteen reasons to smile
For I can sit back here and now for awhile
But God is bigger than this
O, where is my God
In my pocket or in my hand
It is still worth a try...
























Blind Interview
6-9-10


Going to an interview without a plan
I suppose I will just improvise
Knocking on wood with fingers crossed
Where I am not judged by paleness of skin or a tan
Some voices say I will not last
Others tell me to let go of the past
Feeling like I'm being swallowed
By a boa constrictor
Or a ball python
You'll get through this
So the other voice replies
When it takes a hundred years to get wise
So I pray for consolation instead
As I cast upon the waters all of my bread...








Eyes Still Rove
6-9-10


Wanting to be as an ironside
Yet confused of the matters of taking pride
Eyes still rove
While under a grove
It's been years since I've used my gas stove
But, so what
They label me a nut
And The Eyes of the World
Was one of my favorite Grateful Dead tunes
Appealing to the senses
Like many new and full moons
Life can be a sentence
Or it can be a trial
Considering myself as the lesser
Just another ruse of a stressor
God knows my predicament
I put it all into his hands
When no one else really understands..